Do you have recurring dreams? Denzel Washington and Anthony Hopkins do too: this is what psychology says

You wake up and, for a second, it seems like that person is still there. Maybe it was your ex, someone you like, a friend you haven’t seen in years, or even someone you don’t remember having thought about lately. The strange thing is not just the dream, but that it keeps repeating over and over again. And when it happens several times, it’s hard not to wonder: why does that person reappear in my dreams? It has happened to Hollywood stars like Anthony Hopkins and Denzel Washington, who have detailed this experience in interviews. Although there is still no definitive explanation for why we dream, psychology and neuroscience offer us some clues about what happens while we sleep.

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According to Dr. Michelle Drerup, a psychologist specializing in behavioral sleep medicine at Cleveland Clinic, one of the most accepted theories suggests that dreams can help the brain consolidate and process memories, experiences, skills, and situations lived during the day.

“During REM sleep, the stage in which the most vivid dreams usually appear, the brain remains very active and processes that information in a different way than when we are awake,” she explained to Somos.

Emotions also enter into that processing. Stress, anxiety, grief, a significant change, or a worry that still lingers in the mind can influence both the content and the intensity of dreams. That is, while we sleep, the brain does not necessarily “turn off” what moves us, but continues working on it, even if it does so in a fragmented or difficult-to-interpret way.

Here appears a possible explanation for that person who returns again and again. Dr. Drerup pointed out that dreams can take memories, emotions, bonds, fears, or recent situations and combine them in ways that do not always make sense in real life. Therefore, someone known appearing repeatedly does not mean, by itself, that there is a literal message about that person or about the relationship we have with them.

In fact, it may have more to do with what that person is emotionally associated with than with the person themselves. They may be linked to a stage of our life, an experience, a worry, a loss, a desire for closure, or even a feeling we are going through again.

Therefore, instead of asking ourselves “what does this person mean?”, it may be more useful to address “what emotion or stage appears associated with them?”.

It is worth noting that recurrent dreams do not necessarily have to do with a person. Anthony Hopkins, Oscar-winning actor for “The Silence of the Lambs”, has said that he repeatedly dreams of a scene, but when he is about to perform his role, he has forgotten the lines. Interestingly, he is an actor who meticulously studies his texts, learns them, and breaks them down so that there is no line he does not understand. More than a “signal” with a universal meaning, the example illustrates how a dream can recycle fears, experiences, or emotions linked to our own life.

This also helps to understand why someone can appear in a dream, even if we have not consciously thought about that person for months or even years.

“Memories do not simply disappear because they have stopped being part of our daily life. A song, a smell, a conversation, a place, or even a current situation can activate an association without us identifying it during the day. While sleeping, the brain can retrieve that memory and incorporate it into a scene that also contains other elements of our recent life,” said the specialist in behavioral sleep medicine.

Dreaming about your ex does not mean you want to get back together

If there is one person whose appearance in dreams can raise alarms upon waking, it is an ex-partner. Especially when it was not an isolated appearance, but a face that keeps coming back. The first conclusion is almost automatic: could it be that I still miss them? Or that, deep down, I want to get back together? However, a dream alone does not allow reaching any of those conclusions.

“Dreaming about an ex-partner does not prove that we still miss them, that we want to resume the relationship, or that there is a reason to go back. After a breakup, sadness, nostalgia, ambivalence, or memories may remain even when the person has accepted that the relationship ended. Therefore, if an ex-partner appears while we sleep, it is more important to observe what is happening around that dream than to take their presence as an absolute answer,” warned Michelle Drerup.

This also explains why there is not necessarily a difference between dreaming about someone with whom there was a conflict and doing so with a person with whom we feel we closed in peace. According to psychologist Verónica Carrasco, conflicts accompanied by intense emotions can make certain memories reappear more easily, but that does not mean that every recurring person has something pending with us.

In those cases, it is more revealing to stop and look at what happens inside the dream: is there anguish, guilt, fear, nostalgia, relief, or confusion? Observing that emotion and relating it to the present can help better understand the pattern. And repetition does not work as proof that we have not closed a relationship, but as an opportunity to see what is being stirred up.

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“The figures that appear while we sleep can function as representations that the mind uses to process something associated with them or with certain aspects of what they symbolize for us. Thus, an ex-partner with whom we had a beautiful bond could appear in a nightmare that causes us fear, not because we are afraid of that person or because we want to go back, but because their image may be used within the dream to express or process current anguish,” said Pedro González, professor of Psychology at the Antonio Ruiz de Montoya University.

For this reason, it is advisable to be careful with automatic or manual interpretations. It is common to find lists that claim that dreaming about an ex-partner means nostalgia, or that getting lost represents fear of abandonment. However, the fact that a scene is frequent does not mean it has a universal meaning.

“From psychology, it is more interesting to explore the context: what emotion the dream produced, what it personally means for the dreamer, and what they were experiencing at that moment. The key is to explore the dream and its personal associations, not to translate it automatically,” emphasized Claudia Zapana, psychologist at Instituto Certus.

How to know if your dreams are affecting your well-being

That emotional ‘hangover’ that persists during the morning is not a trick of the imagination. According to psychologist José Chávez, from Sanitas Medical Clinics, during the REM sleep phase, brain chemistry changes, as the activity of certain substances that normally help us take rational distance from our emotions decreases.

Therefore, the experiences of the dream are experienced without much intensity, almost without a filter. Upon waking, the brain does not immediately return to its usual state, causing the emotion or feeling of closeness to remain floating for hours.

However, when does that morning trace stop being a simple anecdote to become a warning sign?

According to Dr. Drerup, it is advisable to pay attention when dreams are frequent, repetitive, very distressing, or begin to affect rest and daily functioning. If a person wakes up in panic, takes time to reorient themselves, cannot go back to sleep, or remains emotionally disturbed for hours constantly, it is no longer just a curiosity.

“It is a warning sign when dreams are associated with persistent stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, substance use, medications, or symptoms of a sleep disorder. If nightmares or distressing dreams continue for weeks or months, or affect quality of life, it is advisable to consult a mental health or sleep professional,” she emphasized.

Faced with the anguish of seeing that same person again and again, the instinctive reaction is usually to look for a hidden meaning or an almost mystical revelation. However, this overanalysis can become a trap, as trying to decipher every detail as a definitive truth feeds mental rumination, generates unnecessary anxiety, and can lead to impulsive decisions based only on the emotional intensity of waking.

The healthiest way to relate to a recurrent dream is to treat it as emotional information, not as conclusive proof or a premonition.

So, if that person appears again tonight, maybe you don’t have to immediately ask what it means. It may be more enriching to delve into what you felt when you saw them, what was happening in your life, and what memories or emotions it could be activating. Dreams do not always hide a mystery to solve; sometimes they are simply the way the brain continues processing what we have lived.

There are even those who have recounted recurrent dreams of imprecise content connecting with a clear interpretation. Another Oscar winner, Denzel Washington, said that for years he dreamed of an elevator that moved sideways instead of up or down. Years later, in an elevator of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, he remembered the dream. This anecdote illustrates to what extent dreams can build scenarios that are unusual even for the dreamer. And without there being a hidden message involved.

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